The next time Amy critiques my relative lack of concern for out children's safety (relative being the key term--I'm paranoid just not as paranoid as she is) I'll let her read this article.

A few years ago I came out of my home office to find my youngest son, Keegan, who was 2 years old at the time, dancing on a chair. In his hands were an ice pick and a kitchen knife. In his mouth? A lightbulb. The chair? It was on top of our kitchen counter!
Of course maybe she'd let me get away with more if I was Tony Hawk.


If you ever have sheets of thick foam (such as those inside the padding of Ikea's terribly comfortable Poang chairs) that is soaked don't be deluded into thinking it will air dry, it won't. Even after a day and a half of hanging in the shower you will go to get it and put it on back on the chair and find that it is exactly as wet as when you hung it there. If you find yourself in this situation here is what you should do: 1. Lay a towel on the floor, 2. Place the foam sheet on that towel, 3. Lay a second towel on the foam sheet, 4. Walk on the stack of foam and towel for a while, 5. Roll it up as tightly as you can and press on it a bit more, 6. Repeat with fresh towels as necessary.

You might be wondering how I came to know such a jewel as this. Well it was a bit of a hectic week. My niece Natalie came for a visit. My wife Amy came down with strep throat. School started again blah, blah, blah. Amy was sleeping off her plague and I was trying to get Emma to sleep when I heard a crack. I cringed a bit but my philosophy is if there is no crying it can wait a bit. When I left Emma's room Natalie looked a bit worried when she said, "Oliver did something bad." I went into the kitchen and 2 year old Oliver had muscled open the fridge, breaking the child safety latch in the process (the crack I heard). And there on our chair sat a gallon of milk. The chair was so saturated by this point that milk was leaking through the upholstery onto the floor below.

Oliver just looked at me and said, "I was awfully thirsty da-da." Well then...